It is 4.36 AM and I sit here wondering how many of you out there would exchange your left hand to relinquish the addiction that is killing you.
From what I have witnessed throughout the last 33 years(14 in recovery), I find no reason to believe that there is anything but a spiritual solution to the disease of addiction - all addictions. DO NOT PANIC - SPIRITUAL DOES NOT MEAN HYPOCRITICAL.
In order to recover from any addiction - you need to find a level of faith in some entity greater than yourself, a strong belief that your destiny must be placed under the care of a group or a force that can manage it better than you.
You do not need to go the zillion routes that are laid out in thousands of money-making, self-help, mother-fucking guru books that are written and marketed to deceive people like you.
I am not saying they are not of benefit to people - other people. I am stating categorically that if you are addicted then you need to get real with it and stop screwing around with the only life you got. Cul-de Sacs are time-consuming decisions we make to deny ourselves the truth, they have become our main avenues of life, they are the ever-frustrating walls we build around us.
Alcohol Addiction, Drug Addiction, People, Eating, Gambling addictions - they all need to be quenched with the same spiritual elements - Honesty, willingness and a desire to go that extra mile beyond the extra mile that is way beyond the last extra mile you saw in your past.
I'm not saying you need to buy a new suit down the second-hand shop, take out that bible you got from an uncle who eventually died in a bar room fight, and go handing out tracts in your local town square. I'm not saying become a Jesus or Islam freak, (or a Bible bashing atheist either).
Religion has fuck all to do with what I am saying. Going to church, looking holier than thou, preaching to people who don't like you - these are best left to those folk who are not being murdered on a daily basis by their own addictive nature. People like us, simple folk like you and me need to actually practice what we preach, or else we will fail the acid test and go back pissing in our trousers, gambling our wages or picking up that pack of cigarettes again.
You see, Alcoholism and Addiction are so far ahead of us that it knows our sub-conscious. It is poison, death, darkness and deceit all rolled into one. It makes children nervous, wife's and husbands hopeless. It leaves innocent people dead on roads. It destroys and rumbles through families with ease - not giving two shits about who ends up in a coffin. It is bigger than you, smarter than you, wiser, brighter - richer than you, and it will fuck you up - no doubt about it.
In my 14 years since I left Alcohol, Gambling(A sneaky fucker) and Drug Addiction behind, I have had a consistent and bloody battle with the disease of addiction and all its far-reaching tentacle's. Massive emotional, mental and spiritual battles have been fought on the battlefield of life ever since. I have watched time and time again how good people with seriously pure intentions, end up dead or dying in some horrible way. I have carried far more coffins than I can recall and I expect to carry many more as long as this battle continues.
Many people stop using or drinking for a day. Many stop for a week. Some rare cases manage to stay stopped for months and even years. I wanted to STAY STOPPED and BE HAPPY and to a large extinct I have so far reached that goal. It is not easy, I mean, what the hell is - certainly not addiction?